I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. So it was just, we were coming up to the 20-week scan and I was just getting more relaxed, just actually starting to look at maybe baby catalogues or, you know, going down the baby aisle at the shops, which I'd always avoided. No one else ever met the object of my grief. And of course some other measurements she needed to take like the width of the skull, which she couldn't take because the fetus was in the wrong position. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. I felt the dread run through me. So that was it. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. And thank God I did. Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. The week that followed was an agonising wait. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. It was just sort of deadpan faces, very serious looks, someone else coming to check. I want to be nice again. It was real. The scan was inconclusive, but the size of my little bump was measuring a lot smaller than it should have for 10 weeks. So I suppose from that aspect, mind you having not been told that or sitting there, I wouldn't have thought necessarily that was odd. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. The same anticipation. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. I had to be rescanned latter. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan . The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. (See. And my partner and I would have a completely different life from the one we'd imagined. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. I let out an animal scream and [wife] kind of leapt onto me on the bed. I have horrible thoughts. But no. You have accepted additional cookies. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. He looked fine. I agreed to an internal scan as the sonographer said we could get a better picture of what was happening. . Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. And it was Christmas Eve and at the time I didn't think, the sonographer did spend a little bit of time scanning us and queried my dates several times and then explained that she couldn't quite see the baby's heart properly and would we come back in a couple of days? The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. That they could have spotted something, or not? Specialist scans What were babys measurements at 20 week scan? Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). For example, some babies have a condition called open spina bifida, which affects the spinal cord. He suggested he perform an amniocentesis immediately, to rule out any chromosomal problems. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. The hardest thing I have ever done. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. I'm trying to understand because I haven't seen a 3-D scan, what it tells the parents? We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. Scans cannot find all conditions. I then found that soft markers means 'vague unproven suggestion of a link', and that echogenic locii are small concentrations of calcium which are incredibly common and harmless. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. That was an extremely difficult day. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. We thought it would all be over very quickly but, in fact, it was another 11 hours before the baby was delivered. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. The first midwife seemed to understand what we were trying to say, and said she would ask the doctor to come and talk to us. Others said they were shocked because all the early diagnostic tests (e.g. It was positive, and I felt elated. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. However painful and traumatic the labour was, it was better than what would happen at the end of it. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. The rarest scenario is that the baby is severely ill and choices will need to be made. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. 'Yes, if that's okay with you,' kind of thing, like you do. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. Sam followed and I broke down. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. Last reviewed July 2017. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. Just that really! Desperately trying to hold onto the glimmer of hope we'd been given. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. I was sent home with a leaflet, strong painkillers and two types of antibiotics. No one else attended and we didn't have a service. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. There was complete silence during the scan. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. Another sick joke. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? If you choose not to have the scan you can still have all other parts of your routine antenatal care. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. What happens at the second midwife appointment? It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. But they didn't. I was then told yet again bad news. I don't know how we got through the next couple of days. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! She didn't want to see the baby. I know it is still early days. She advised I be referred to the EPU to be assessed. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. I didn't have a clue. You can change your cookie settings at any time. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see '. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. The weeks since that day have been very weird. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. As I was called for my scan I was nervous and emotional. So instead, I was advised to go home and let nature take its course. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. BabyCenter. He looked excited. Can't seem to find info on the Internet. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. I remember thinking, 'Gosh' I now know it was a girl, I didn't know that then, that, 'She looks just like her brother'. 10/03/2021 16:13, @Cormoransjacket This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. Slightly marked from our peers. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. You're in and out and that was it. He felt strong and fit and healthy. I broke down and started hitting my disgusting body that had done this. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. It is a noise that will stay with me for ever. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. Could you tell? So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. And I thought that if I were faced with the possibility of having an amnio, hours of discussion would follow - I would spend days mulling it over. This was on the Friday. Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. You have rejected additional cookies. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. So he went out for a walk. It was sick. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. I was disgusted - disgusted that such a tablet existed, let alone that I should have to take it. If necessary, you will be referred to a specialist, possibly in another hospital. I sat and waited to be called for my scan. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. So obviously quite relaxed. Thinking back, I don't know how we left without him. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . We were convinced everything would be OK. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. 15/02/2014 08:02. The thing that I have a very strong memory of is this child's face in amazing detail. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. Never lacking a sense of the dramatic, it felt as if we shared the responsibility for the terrible, dirty act that we had committed. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. It wasn't measuring at all the right measurements for the age - there was a heart defect, the limbs were sort of distorted, the arms were, you know - you could see that the arms were very sort of contracted, the hands were contracted. Do you have any thoughts about that? Again, we weren't understood. Maybe. All pregnant women should be given the booklet by their midwife or GP Screening tests for you and your baby by Public Health England, which gives detailed information about the types of scan offered and what they are looking for. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. It's part of our family. We left for home feeling completely numb. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? We talked about the different sorts of pain relief I could have and I opted for a morphine drip, which I could control. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. It was far too much power; neither of us wanted it. It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. And I went for, I went for a normal 12-week scan, at my local hospital and everything, they said everything was fine, there was no problem. For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. We felt as if we were in limbo. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. I then had to wait in the room along with many other patients for an hour so they could observe me. Can you remember that minute. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". An hour passed and I started to panic. And, sometimes, I wish I had invited my whole family into the hospital room to see him. You do not have to have the scan. The sonographer will be able to tell you the results of the scan at the time. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. It took 20 minutes to push him out. And they took me into another room. I think I was about 20 weeks cos they, the hospital I think did the 12 and the 20, that was their standard thing and, yeah, so I got the 20 weeks one. . Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart. We walked all the way home. My wife had been very, very healthy, more healthy than the first pregnancy, and of course was shattered by the fact that the news, the news was appalling, very serious faces. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine.