The officer said "you've been swerving all over the road, have you had anything to drink?" It's now called the Ironman Triathlon. Maybe, the trainer answered. ", "My friend has been going to the gym, because people kept calling him "fat" and "ugly". What happened when the personal trainer brought a lion The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent "I once knocked a guy off his bike Ive since been banned from that gym.". 115 Best Halloween Jokes - Funny Halloween Puns and One-Liners I'm not getting fitter, but my hand is getting darn bloody.". Ive been lifting weights for a week and I already dropped 25 pounds. Whats more, if nothing else, basically grinning assists you with working those muscles in your cheeks! My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. What happened to the man who contemplated his future on the treadmill? 55 Really Funny Geometry Jokes And Puns | Laugh Away Now - Humoropedia.com A man in my gym just proposed and she said no.They didnt workout. Why teddy bears dont go to the gym?They dont wanna get ripped. What is Cardi B called when shes running on the treadmill? Gym Jokes #39 - 30. I want to start running twenty four-hour gyms. It wanted to cheddar couple of pounds. Hallowed be thy gains. What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? So weve gathered together our #1 wellness jokes in that soul. at the gymBut she didnt show up. Unfortunately it landed on my big toe and broke it. I had to fire my personal trainer. 55. I felt sick after Id used it for an hour, but its got everything: Doritos, Snickers, Mountain Dew. What does a personal trainer think before he shows a new thing to trip over while I search for the remote. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? 17. What do you call Elon Musk when hes been to the gym a lot? #101 - 90. I went up the stairs, walked through the hall, went up two stairs, walked through two more halls, walked down three stairs, walked out of the building, walked around the building, went into the building, went up ten stairs, walked through five halls, walked down eleven stairs, went up one stairs until I reached a sign which just read: "End of Fitness."". 29. Because he didnt even Lyft, bro. 11. 6. What do you call someone whos really into stationary biking? That was a 1: Why do you like going on night runs? A bit of laughter can be a great motivator, especially when youre trying to force yourself to get in that one last rep. Jump to: Gym puns Gym one liners Best gym jokes Gym puns *Refuses to go to the gym. So i pick up her phone at night when shes Why wasnt the gym for ants successful? Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important!Good coffee and good music make everything better. He thought it was a bit of a stretch. I sleep in one of the lockers. 27. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Where to draw the line on dirty dad jokes depends on how many awkward conversations you're willing to have should your kid fire off a poop joke in Sunday school or during a test. . 18. never showed up :(guess the two of us are never gonna work out, 84. They There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. Top 10 hilarious Irish dirty jokes (laughter - Meanwhile in Ireland Thats 7 years in a row now.". 86. It's better than riding a stationary bike. It was a tough crowd.". The pirate said: Aye, I fought Red Beards crew and lost me hand.. I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. 2023 Box of Puns. 13. 65 Dirty Adult Jokes to Text Your Partner Right Now 28 Star Wars jokes that will make you laugh (and cringe) 47. Most people don't realize this, But you can actually go to the gym without telling Facebook about it. 15. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. Good ones! A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. What do you call a gym thats really dirty?A gymnastium. 23 What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? in the Pringles holder on the treadmill. His clients got ripped to shreds. 5! A British man made a New Years resolution to lose some weight, so the next day he signed up for a gym membership. The interviewer is absolutely blind sighted by the hilarious joke! What kind of gym do Christians like to go to? I have been hitting the gym recently. Have you heard about that new gym that sends trainers to your door unannounced? Please check link and try again. I was suspicious or my girlfriend cheating on me with #gymtok #fittok #gymrat #fitness". He had some things he needed to get off his chest. 79 Dirty Jokes That Are Funny ASF | Bridal Shower 101 So, since this seemed promising, I went down the hall, and there were more signs. Credit: Pixabay / 4711018. Somebody told him he was all cut up! Why doesnt the fisherman go to the gym? Hallowed by thy gains.. running. 44. "", "A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions. Why did the personal trainer grab a new shirt? Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym? Whats the name of Cardi Bs super-fit gym-focused sister? Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.. Why is the heart the strongest muscle in the body? But Im on my fourth car this year now. Whats the best gift you can give to a gym addict? Why can athletes lift more than prisoners? Everybody loves jokes, and if youre on this site you also love getting a good workout. bank called wondering if my credit card got stolen. ", "I do two hours of cardio every day. Hopefully even the ones that are familiar put a smile on your face. "Yesterday at the gym I heard someone trying to convince a bodybuilder that yoga is a workout. minutes? 51. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, "Can't Approve Overtime? It's a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays. But I refused. He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill. The actor, author and martial artist began acting in the '70s, alongside the likes of Dean Martin and Bruce Lee. He accepts gleefully. "", "My first time in the gym went really well! Curls. I joined a gym 6 months ago and still havent lost a pound. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. *watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Of course I have a 6 pack! Because they care about their calves. 500 matching entries found. I read in men's health, that the most important thing to do when doing a workout programme is restI've done that for 2 years now and I am still no fitter than before! I guess I shouldve prepared whey in advance.". Lifting weights faster. Elton John found a baby rabbit at the gym the other day. He was hoping to get some capital gains. The personal trainer pointed outside and said, the ATM.. But more importantly, we knew it would've made our dad laugh. demons. The smile looks really good on you. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Here are some Dirty Gym Pick Up Lines! Did you hear about the guy weightlifting on Wall Street? Why did the girl get arrested after her workout? Recently signed up for a gym, even paid 3 months in and I had to take the stairs. Why didnt the weightlifter have to pay rent? Ab-stinence. They didnt believe I bought a gym membership. Osama Bin Why did the fish stop lifting weights? Sometimes being able to laugh at it can make all of that a little bit easier. 87. The man said, Im trying to get purrfect abs!, "I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting. About to start my first half marathon and no one can tell them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact. Be sure to check out our other pages of jokes as well, which will hopefully be able to keep you laughing. How do you find the gym at Hogwarts? Will be opening up a Christian gym soon. Whats it called when you refuse to do core workouts? 0. Im the best at pretending theres something wrong with 7! "He died as he lived," we'd say, nodding meaningfully. How do you feel?. Look for the dumbbell door. other young boys. Gym Pick Up Lines - Pick Up Lines - Jokes4us.com They lift weights faster. mussel. Why was the burglar popular at his gym? Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Personal Trainer Jokes - Gym Jokes - Jokes4us.com My father, when he is in the boxing gym, is 'Floyd Joy.' 2. The best gay jokes Two gay men decide to have a baby. of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio. Whats a pigs strongest muscle? Its okay, weve all been there multiple times. Its the two days after that I cant stand. 72. Whether youre searching for exercise center jokes, muscle head jokes, or an ideal weightlifting joke, we care for you! He was trying to learn how to define muscle. He was their ruler. Come on push. My uncle is 'The Black Mamba.' What do you call a dirty gym? A gym junkie counts loudly in the gym as he does bench presses. 48. 12. I guess it just wasnt working out. A cyclepath. Have you heard about that new gym that sends trainers to your door unannounced? I stopped going to gym and guess what I got. Because its always pumping iron. last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap. 35. ", "Ive been lifting weights for a week and I already dropped 25 pounds. Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night. It was a real pain canceling my gym membership 32. Very harsh, but also very funny! Trainer: It was a sit up. They're wiped out and you're shit out of luck. COPY. Dino-sore. You get to lay down between each one! 2. Ideas for the top 101 gym jokes come from the following sources. Turns out they do not have kickboxing classes. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" "Oh yeah same," says the European. One hundred dollars. Two guys meet at the gym to play handball. curls might help. 7! But in jest. 1. The doctor asked, From eating less? Its been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress! Only used Please sign up with your best email address. (Eating carbs, comfortable footwear, being cheered. Why did the gym-goer get arrested? Masturbation always leads to sex. I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then, I didnt show up, I hope she gets the message that were not working out. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? How do you get revenge on your ex-boyfriend? So, here are some jokes for seniors that'll brighten their day with some hearty chuckles. What does leg day and sex have in common? says, Since when have you been wearing a girdle? Other guy says, Wow, that took a natural weight off my chest. He didnt. Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. It sucks being the cleaner. Jokes are amusing to share, one of the fundamental reasons we chose to impart this set to you! Going to the gym is a great way to get in shape and stay healthy. He was trying to learn how to define muscle. And by good, we obviously mean bad. He was working on his pecks! Exercise, because zombies will eat the slow ones first! Laugh more here: Funny Business Jokes To Share With Friends. 1: Why do you like going on night runs so much? He wanted bigger buns. 50 Best Gym Jokes That Will Work Out The Fun, 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. 61. 22 Why couldn't the angle get a loan? A: Why isnt the personal trainer paying rent? I spend about 75% of my time at the gym finding the right song for my workout. Im sorry if I dont wave or smile back at you while Im It was a sore subject. My wife told me to go the gym and burn some calories So Its the two days after I cant stand. 80 Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids and Adults - TODAY.com 15. "It was a real pain canceling my gym membership They made me hand in a too weak notice.". An overweight blonde went to the doctor and asked how she could lose weight. Whats the best gift you can give to a gym addict? There are a lot of dir.. jokes. think the police are suspicious. Its called Jehovahs Fitness. 37. On the other hand, different individuals might be searching for a more normal jolt of energy than caffeine. Whats the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? Your feedback will help us improve the article. Going to the gym is a great way to get in shape and stay healthy. Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership?Because he didnt even Lyft, bro. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". If you are a fan of these "Deez Nuts" Jokes. Going to the gym isnt just about staying healthy. "No Why?" Did you hear about the banana gymnast? They read that curls might help their arms grow. "Its been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress! Why did they open a gym in hell? A guy proposed to a woman in the gym but she said no 41. Why do oysters go to the gym? Just ice cream. what to call it, Jehovahs Fitness, or CrossFit. Why couldnt the man trust his personal trainer? The turkey already did that for you. Why couldnt the man trust his personal trainer? 57 Gym Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workout (2022) - Livin3 57 Gym Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workout (2022) by Jessica Simms Jan 29, 2022 in Jokes 3 Everybody loves jokes, and if you're on this site you also love getting a good workout. "Give it to me! ", "I always avoid the gym for the first 3 weeks of the year. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? 45 Funny Electricity And Electrician Jokes, Puns, One Liners - LaffGaff Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people. canceled my membership. I said: 'Hey, talk dir.. to me.' Custom and user added quotes with pictures. 58. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. - 32. ", "I just signed up for a 12 month membership at a gym. See more ideas about workout humor, humor, funny. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Curls. Why did the couple stop going to the gym? Top 50 Funny Gym Jokes Ever - Gift Our Precious What is a bananas favorite gymnastic move? sweater but forgetting the sweater, then eating a burrito and going home. A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, What machine should I use to impress women?. Been crushing legs.". 93. The man said, Im trying to get purrfect abs!. Like, if you have that pumpkin spiced latte, you might as well get down and do 367 burpees.". Why doesnt the fisherman go to the gym?He pulled a mussel.